Tachichomatic Matchmaking Service
by green-eyed-bastard
Summary: Polite warning: smutfilled plotbunnies have been spotted in the vicinity. If you do not wish to be infected by the Batou X Togusa virus, please vacate the premises. Otherwise, enjoy...
1. Chapter 1

Tachicomatic Matchmaking Service

A Ghost In The Shell Fic

by GreenEyedBastard

chapter 1

This takes place well before the events of the movies and the anime series.

None of the characters are mine although they are more than welcome to have a few beers in my humble abode.

This is a slash story! Nothing extravagant just yet (unless you count the reference to 20th century literature..). Rated M(almost...) just to be safe.

Everything herein (except for my evil little plot bunny) belongs to the God of my anime world, Masume Shirow.

_This implies Batou's thoughtspeech._

Comments are welcome. Flames will be used to heat the plot bunny nursery.

"One—ugh!--more rep.." Batou grunted. He grimaced a bit and folded his big hands around the grips of the metal shelf. "'m going for a new personal record..."

"You can do it Mr. Batou," chirped the Tachicoma perched on the shelf over the heavy cyborg's chest. "I have all kinds of faith in you!"

He smirked then ever so slowly lifted the mini-tank off his chest. At the highest point in the lift, the tank squealed with delight and applauded, her sisters joining in a resounding cheer.

Batou stood up and shook his arms loosening his shoulders. He brushed his pale blond hair out of his face and bowed deeply down before his appreciative audience.

"Thank you. Thank you," he smiled accepting a towel from the tank as she hopped down from her perch on the weight bench.

The hanger's elevator doors chimed then opened revealing Togusa, the newest member of Section 9. The slim human forensics detective walked in with a cloth bag of books and games for the Tachicomae.

"Yay!" A pair of mini-tanks squealed and practically bounced over to meet him.

"Good afternoon uh ladies," Togusa greeted the tanks. Even after working with the unit for six months he was still trying to get used to the cheerful A.I.s.

Batou looked up at the young human as soon as he'd entered the bay. He chuckled as he watched Togusa pass a cribbage board to the gamer tank and a book on Shakespear's plays to the reader. The other tanks looked on practically drooling oil in anticipation of the shared information.

"Hey rookie," the cyborg laughed at the human's indignant expression. "You'd better not be spoiling these girls!"

The sounds of ceramic metallic bodies ricocheting off walls, rolling across the floor and claws chattering made Batou laugh out loud.

"Awww! No fair!" a Tachicoma whined. Another crossed her arms and pouted (earning a little grin from Togusa in the process). "He's _not_ spoiling us. That's _your_ job."

"I know that. I'm just teasing," Batou grinned relishing the sudden flush that had crept into Togusa's high cheekbones. _Damn! I bet he doesn't even know he's doing that._

Batou's silver disk eyes were expressionless as he surreptitiously monitored Togusa's reactions. The natural human appeared to be a little flustered for some reason.

_Naughty thought alert!_ A corner of Batou's mouth turned up as it occurred to him what was causing the human's discomfort.

Togusa glanced a little nervously up at the cyborg. His longish cinnamon hair fell loosely around his face and Batou found himself squelching the urge to brush it out of Togusa's eyes. _Damn! I hardly know this kid and already I'm sorely tempted to lock him into my apartment and throw away the key..._

The human looked down at the empty bag unaware that he'd been nervously tying it into a cloth origami knot.

Batou moved a little closer and leaned against the wall beside Togusa.

"So you're not here to see _me_ are you?" he asked. "I'm crushed!" Batou heaved a dramatic sigh punctuated by draping a forearm across his silver eyes.

Togusa's strange golden eyes widened as he glanced up at the cyborg through the cinnamon ruff of his hair. Unconsciously he licked his lips.

_Oh damn that looked good..._

Batou took a step closer to the human forcing him to look up to meet his eyes.

_This is going to be fun..._

Meanwhile, several Tachi-eyeballs had swiveled in the general direction of the two humanoids.

"Ooo..." whispered one. "Mr. Togusa looks a little weird doesn't he?" The other members of the collection nodded in unison (the one with the cribbage board coyly hid behind it—as much as a tank can hide behind a square foot of acrylic board anyways).

"Do you think he's going to faint?" asked the reader. "He resembles one of the heroines from those 20th century romance novels. What were those called again? Bodice-rippers!" She whispered dramatically waving her book in one claw whilst fanning herself with the other, eyes rolling about in their orbits. Her sister Tachicomae gasped in amazement as they recalled the lexicon popular from that particular style of literature.

" But Mr. Togusa doesn't have '_heaving bosoms' ... "_

A series of loud pops echoed across the room followed by a noise reminiscent of a large number of bowling balls colliding.

"_Of course not. _You should really pay more attention! Mr. Togusa isn't a girl even if he is a little on the androgynous side." The book tank muttered as she returned an eye to its orbit. "Eew!" She plucked the offending object out again and wiped it off on the tank standing nearest.

"True. You have to admit though, he's constructed quite nicely for a biped."

The human in question suddenly realized he was the new center of attention.

_Eep! They've got a point though. No wonder he likes loose-fitting trousers. Heheh..._

Next Chapter:

Can Cyborgs Swoon?

**Authors mental ramblings placed on computer screen:**

This is entirely too much fun! Poor little innocent Togusa...

I'll try to update again by the end of the week if not sooner. My plot bunnies are prolific little ss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tachichomatic Matchmaking Service**

Chapter 2

**Can Cyborgs Swoon?**

This takes place well before the events of the movies and the anime series.

None of the characters are mine although they are more than welcome to have a few beers in my humble abode.

This is a slash story! Nothing extravagant just yet (unless you count the reference to 20th century literature..). Rated M(almost...) just to be safe.

Everything herein (except for my evil little plot bunny) belongs to the God of my anime world, Masume Shirow.

_This implies Section 9's thoughtspeech._

Comments are welcome. Flames will be used to heat the plot bunny nursery.

Squeak is the name I've given to Batou's Tachi. Booker is the reader-Tachi and Playgirl is the gamer.

Time for another dive into my warped little ghost...

The Tachichomatic collective gathered for their days' experience-file sharing

Squeak launched herself to the top of a cargo box and started waving her arms to gain the attention of her sister tanks.

"Sister Tachichomae! Lend me your audio inputs!"

"Oh no," groaned the others. "Here we go again. Quick, hide the box! Oh no! Too late." Dramatic sighs and moans echoed through the hangar bay.

"Can it wait a minute? It's my turn and I'm still trying to add up the rest of my points (15-2, 15-4, and a pair for 8)." Playgirl moved her cribbage piece eight places along the board. Her partner for the match, Booker wasn't playing attention, two of her three main optics were focused on the small book of sonnets open in one claw. She sighed wistfully contemplating one that she finished and closed the book.

"Sigh...these sonnets are just so beautiful,"Booker gushed, her eyes swirling, "The rhythm and word usage is ...amazing!"

She was paying no attention whatsoever to the fact that Playgirl was kicking her mechanical keister (metaphorically speaking of course...).

Squeak focused her practiced Slytherin Death Glare on the players. "Hey! I'm talking here!" All four of her optics focused on the dueling pair. She bounced off her box and stomped over to the game table. She grabbed the table and flipped it sending pieces and dice flying in all directions. Booker looked up with a slightly bemused expression. Playgirl looked highly annoyed. The rest of the collective was shocked.

"Eep! She's finally lost it! Her circuits are fried. Somebody is having problems with anger-management software...either that or she's having some severe gaseous grey-matter emissions (but she doesn't have grey-matter...sigh)."

Squeak stood with her arms crossed and glared at the rest of the group. "Now that I have your attention," she began making a sound that mimicked a throat being cleared. "We appear to be having a bit of a problem..."

A resounding gasp then silence...

Playgirl perked up at that. "ooo a problem! That sounds like fun!" She rubbed her clawed hands in gleeful anticipation and her eyes began to swirl madly as she started processing game rules. She giggled manically only to get beaned by a wayward cribbage piece hefted in her direction via a thoroughly pissed-off Squeak.

"Hey! Don't break that. It was a present from Mr. Togusa!" Playgirl snapped. She and Squeak glared poisonous green venom-dipped daggers at each other. Just as the collective members started to take bets on the outcome of this latest spat, Booker stepped in between the combatants. She turned to face Squeak.

"Now now. There's no reason to get so agitated. You're going to give yourself high oil pressure again..." she offered sagely.

"AAAAAAAAAA!" A loud explosion rocked the hangar.

"Yeesh! You are far too emotional, I swear!" Booker groaned exasperatedly. "Pull yourself together and quit showing off how agile you are." She helped the wobbly tank pull her body parts back together and reassemble. Then the two of them walked over a couch bench where Squeak sat down then leaned over to recline on a sand-bag pillow. Booker picked up a computer tablet and stylus.

"Now what seems to be the problem?" she queried.

Squeak sighed. "I think that it all started a few days ago...Mr. Batou has acted like that before but now they seem to be...well avoiding each other. Actually ," she paused tapping her grenade launcher thoughtfully, "Mr. Togusa is trying to avoid Mr. Batou( who just keeps showing up in the darndest places...)" She looked at Booker and raised a claw in question. "You remember how Mr. Batou flirted with Mr. Togusa right?"

Everyone present giggled and fanned themselves with trembling claws.

"Well," Squeak continued thoughtfully, "it seems to me that by teasing him, Mr. Batou isn't winning any..."

"WINNING?" Playgirl screeched, "he's going to lose by miles. What he needs to do,"she said racing over to the cargo box that Squeak had commandeered earlier, knocking both Squeak and Booker off the couch, "is to plan some kind of strategy." Her eyes swirled madly as she processed countless game strategy files on her internal network.

"Now hold on," said Booker as Squeak helped her to her feet. "It's not as simple as winning a chess game, although that is an appropriate analogy. Now here's something that might be a bit closer—the Chinese philosopher Tsun Tsu wrote 'know your opponent.' Granted, the core of his text Art of War philosophy has been applied to everything from chess games to cyber-combat but we need to figure a way to apply this brilliant theory to courtship." She paused for a moment and laced her fingers together.

"Well," said Playgirl, "they already know each other...duh right?"

"At work," Booker verified, "for example, does Mr. Batou know that Mr. Togusa doesn't wear anything to bed?"

Several Tachichomae keeled over in dead faints over this enticing bit of data.

"Well we did say that he was nicely constructed for a humanoid biped."

In Section 9's breakroom/lounge, Batou sat listening in on some of the conversation. He wasn't really paying complete attention as he was doing his best to guess what Togusa looked like under his baggy clothes. Kusanagi ,however, had memorized every single word.

This could be fun...I might just have to offer a bit of _strategic_ advice.

She looked thoughtfully at the youngest member of Section 9 as he was doing his level best to pretend to be invisible (without the benefit of the latest version therm-optic camouflage). The poor thing is so fucking brilliant but he's totally clueless...

Kusanagi hid a smile behind her hand as she looked from Togusa to Batou. Yep. This is going to be fun...

**Author's Gaseous Grey-matter Emissions:**

**Reka:** Thanks everso for the kind words (fans blushing face and smiles shyly). The two of them make a cute couple, no? I can't help but have such naughty thoughts about them together...I love drawing them together...(if you'd like pictures, send me an email ; )

**The-Anibee: **Cute is fun isn't it? I can just see Togusa as the 20-something Virgin and naturally everyone's favorite combat heavy cyborg taking advantage of that fact. I distinctly recall seeing a picture somewhere of Batou with a huge sh.t-eating grin on his face. The man is a totally shameless hussy!

**Crimson Skye: **He would look good in a dress wouldn't he? I've got my own idea as to how he was recruited for Section 9 and it involves him going undercover as a lounge singer. Three guesses as to the identity of his biggest fan (and the first two don't count). Am I evil? Don't answer that!

**MaraWeaves:** They are the cutest little boogers aren't they? Of course, the high-powered chain guns and onboard grenade launchers are just so precious.

**Head noogies brought to you cheerfully by Loki the Insane cat...**

**Chapter 3**

**Strategic Planning**


	3. Chapter 3

Tachichomatic Matchmaking Service

Chapter 3

Strategic planning

Author's Note : 

Please forgive the hungry plot-bunnies. They've been chewing on my posterior for the past few weeks.

Betwixt work and those charming little pbs, I've discovered that sleep is highly overrated.

Net speech 

_Thoughts (internal)_

An evening's relaxation interrupted by frustration and a little unabashed sexual tension on the part of a virginal but highly imaginative forensics nerd. Add the meddling of a few techno 'kids' plus one cyber-dominatrix. Sprinkle liberally with thoughts of naughtiness and chaos will ensue…

Imagine A Midsummer Night's Dream with the Major as Puck.

Togusa set aside the computer data pad containing a partially unread forensics journal. He found himself reading the same sentences over again. The latest advancements in the Hadaly prosthetic facial appliance (microscopy edition) were usually enough to hold his interest but for some reason, the face that kept distracting him belonged to a certain blond cyborg possessed of an evil grin and distinctly perverted sense of humor.

He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts but only succeeded in smacking himself in the face with the end of his braid. Giving said braid the 'hairy eyeball', he turned off the computer after saving his spot in the journal. He leaned back in his chair and stretched until every vertebra in his spine popped then curled himself back into a human origami sculpture, resting his head on the desk in front of the monitor. Staring at his reflection on the screen he muttered under his breath.

"Batou was just kidding around," he said staring at his mirrored image. A few strands of cinnamon hair had fallen into his line of sight giving him a cross-eyed expression resembling that of a Siamese cat. "Probably does that to everybody—the newbies at least. Especially the ones that show any interest in the Tachis. Just my luck to be 'adopted' by _two_ of them…" He picked up the model of a mini-tank sitting near the computer and looked at it carefully. Grinning ruefully at it, he placed it carefully on top of his head mimicking the tanks' habit of moving and placing their 'net avatars as if they were mecha parakeets. At that particular thought, he laughed out loud, momentarily distracted by the thought of TachiBudgies…

As if the merest mention of its designation had summoned it (which _is _highly probable seeing as how the little beasties were rather fond of lurking around the 'net portion contained in his e-brain) Booker opened a com-line and waved in greeting.

Togusa palmed the little toy and carefully lifted it from his hair, mindful not to tangle any of its numerous (and anatomically correct)appendages. He put the toy back into its spot next to the computer and curled himself back into a reasonably human shape.

"Hey Brainy Smurf!" Togusa waved back. The mini-tank giggled at her human's nickname.

"Mr. Togusa," she chirped, "I've finished the book you gave me yesterday. Perhaps we can discuss the ramifications of theatre in our modern form of government and those that the Bard alluded to in his comedic farce— " she stopped speaking for a moment, glancing off to a point outside Togusa's field of 'net-vision then she continued. "Or perhaps a dialog on Shakespeare's sonnets would be in order." She folded her clawed hands demurely waiting for a response.

Now if he'd _not_ been distracted by some rather prurient thoughts involving Batou and melted caramel, Togusa would have realized that he was being manipulated as neatly as a Tachi could move a chess piece. Which in and of itself is rather amusing really as he was the one responsible for teaching them how to play chess to begin with.

He uncurled himself from his chair and stood up to stretch. The short robe he wore rode up past his knees giving Booker an enticing view of pale freckle-dusted skin.

She put one hand in front of her face failing miserably at trying to hide her insatiable curiosity for the human form—especially this one in particular. Togusa, of course, was still yawning; therefore, he was incapable of noticing that he was being shamelessly ogled by the collective.

Appreciative whispers abound in the lab as the rest of the collective urged him to stretch just a little more… (if at first one can't embarrass a Tachichoma, try again)

"As far as my favorite sonnets go, I think that 121(probably need to look up the number again) is one of my personal favorites. Somewhere, I've got an old audio cd from the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts…"he paused long enough to tap a finger against his forehead. "That's the one that was read by Sir Alan Rickman…."

Togusa leaned over just far enough to reveal a hint of his backside when a popping sound caught his attention. He opened his eyes and looked for the cause of the sound and noticed that Booker had disconnected her com-link. Her avatar was nowhere to be seen.

He shrugged and then turned back towards the bathroom where he'd been planning to unwind once he'd finished reading. On the way into the small room he stopped to pick up a basket containing scented candles. Turning the window screens on 'desert island' mode, Togusa set up a few candles around his bathtub and lit them. Then he lifted a small remote from the basket and pointed towards the stereo system. A popular jazz musician started playing .

"You know, Boss, I've been wondering when you'd show up…" a shy smirk twisted one corner of his mouth. He blew out the match and undid the tie of his robe. He shrugged the loose fabric from his shoulders as he heard another voice in the room.

"Sorry…just got in…" Togusa smiled in the direction of that familiar drawl as he climbed into the tub.

"It's okay. I don't mind. I'm just glad you're …here…"he whispered softly closing his eyes as he sunk into the warm scented water.

"Just another day at the office…you know how it is…"

"Yeah." A quiet sigh. "I was there. Tell me about it anyway." Togusa lifted one long sleekly muscled leg from the warm water and rested the heel on the rim of the tub. He ran his fingers down the length of his torso stroking gently over sensitized flesh just beneath the water's surface. The rough sound of his partner's voice aroused him further. His breath turned ragged as he stroked himself into sweet oblivion.

Booker 'popped' back into reality in the lab. She was practically glowing pink from embarrassment. "You will absolutely _not_ believe what almost happened! I almost saw Mr. Togusa's.."

Playgirl did not even look up from her spider solitaire "We _already _know what he looks like out of uniform remember?"

"I know that. We don't actually see him like that when he's awake though." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "He very nearly caught my watching. I was fortunate enough to escape before…"

"You left!" Squeak screeched, "just when it started to get interesting!" She stomped over to where Booker was sitting looking a little bothered and smacked her with an empty oil can. "OOO! You had just better go back in there or else!" She pointed her claw and shook it menacingly. The reader Tachi raised both hands in shock.

Meanwhile, Batou sat at his desk trying to figure out a way to finish his reports for the day. _Damn paperwork. So much for a paperless society…_ He glared at the documents on the screen recalling just how much he despised this particular portion of his job. _Togusa's probably the only cop I know who actually enjoys doing this crap. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him like that. Looks like it's beer and TV at home 'cause poor old me is stuck at work again—sigh. Hopefully the Major won't give me too much grief about missing another bullshit session…_

Batou realized somewhat belatedly that after he had cornered Togusa, the human had somehow managed to pick up on the conversation the collective was having around them.

"_No wonder the poor kid looked like he was going to faint…then again, I'm about as subtle as a small thermonuclear device."_ He smiled at the memory of the way Togusa looked when he blushed. _"But he was so much fun to tease. I just couldn't resist…"_

After chatting with Squeak, he'd felt a little guilty about teasing the human—realizing that Togusa really was as innocent as he was intelligent.

"But Mr. Batou, don't you like him?" Squeak queried in a meek voice.

He sighed and laced his fingers staring off into space. Her avatar gazed questioningly awaiting his reply.

"It's not a matter of just liking him…" Batou answered. "There's just no proof outside of his physiological responses that he's even attracted." He sighed again and looked over at Togusa's vacant desk. Noticing something on the detective's desk that looked like one of Togusa's report files, he walked over to pick it up.

"The night may be saved after all…it's beer-thirty and getting later by the moment…" grinning sagely at his own admittedly lame attempt at humor, he took the book back to his desk . "Wait a second…" Then he realized that what appeared to be a file was actually a small clothbound sketchbook. Tempted almost more than he'd ever been, he walked back over to Togusa's desk and returned it to its resting place. In a corner of his e-brain, he could almost hear a disgruntled snort form his Tachi.

"Listen kiddo," he warned gently, "that book isn't mine so for once in my misbegotten existence, I'm going to let discretion take the better part of valor and leave it be."

"Aww! But it might be an important clue to his—a case we might have to work on."

"Riiight",he drawled. "and I'm a Jameson-class cyborg. Hands-off."

"Okay Mr. Batou." She groused

In the meantime, at the bar in the Officers' Club, (a disreputable little cyborg dive and Section 9's home away from home) Motoko Kusangi laughed so hard she almost spewed beer out of her nose.

"Looks like somebody was in such a hurry to leave work today that he grabbed the wrong bag by mistake…"

She sent a thought-line into the 'net and tentatively reached for Togusa's e-brain. What she found made even a jaded, self-proclaimed sexual aficionado such as herself blush…

Woo! Do not pass go! Skip straight to the smut! If he wasn't a natural, I'd bet a year's pay that he'd been custom-built by a sex fiend (like me…)

'_Damn! Who knew the little geek had it in him…' _she grinned wickedly catching a look from Ishikawa. _Hehe…using a voice recording to fantasize with. Looks like young Togusa has quite the imagination. And he is nicely constructed for a human. _

She, of course had by now formed a suspicion as to what that diary actually contained. Her estimation was based on what she already knew about Togusa's infatuation and her listening in on the collective.

Ishikawa raised an eyebrow then shook his head having instantly recognized that devious expression particular to her brand of sadistic mischief.

'_Do I want to know who you're planning on hacking? On second thought, don't answer that!'_

'_You're right. You don't want to know…yet'_ she smirked and lifted her glass in salute.

'_Tachichoma'_

'_Yes Mam.'_

'_You are a collective consciousness right?" _Kusanagi's avatar smiled. _"Ask one of your sisters about the information," _she glanced in the direction of the journal. _If someone else passes the information to you, it can be said that you didn't look at it yourself. It was given freely as opposed to stolen…'_

"_But Mr. Batou said…"_Squeak paused for a moment then giggled. She rolled her eyes about their orbits. _"Well duh! If I ask Booker about it…maybe I shouldn't have yelled at her. Oh well, she'll get over it especially when we share!"_

"_And I suggest that survellance is a good idea especially if you want to find out more about personal behavior…take as many of your sisters with you as you need." _Kusangi smiled as she helped plan out the _information gathering mission_ on the human.

Playgirl began to formulate a plan to reconnoiter Togusa's house, hoping to find him awake.

"_I think that using the double spider routine in rotating clusters should provide enough cover. We can go in two shifts. Booker and I will take the lead as we know Mr. Togusa's routines best…" _The others nodded in assent.

"_Booker, you take two and go to Mr. Togusa's residence. Squeak and I will follow Mr. Batou. The rest of you stay online as backup if needed…" _Squeak nodded then waved at Booker.

"_Since we are following Mr. Batou, I should be the one monitoring him."_

"_That sounds reasonable. Just remember, our primary objective is to make Mr. Togusa see that Mr. Batou is perfect for him—just like those romance novels." _

"_You are such a romantic…"_

"_Actually we all are now…"_

"_Yes we are!"_

"_Operation Tachichomatic Matchmaking Service is now underway!" _A chorus of cheers filled the bay.

The Major nodded her approval. "_Good luck and good hunting. And be sure to report back as soon as you collect all the data you need…" Those two are so screwed..heh..in more ways than one!_

Ishikawa glanced at her out of the corner of an eye as he sipped on his beer. _Don't tell me you're siccing the Tachichomae on some poor unsuspecting bastard…_

_Alright, I won't. I'm siccing them on Togusa and Batou._

…

_Pick your eyeballs up off the table. You don't know where that thing's been._

_You are one crazy bitch you know that?_

_Yup._

The collective acquired more data than it expected when it followed Togusa into his bedroom after his bath.

Moments after they arrive at the apartment, the Tachis shift the visual representations of their avatars into the smallest images they can manage. For the purpose of this operation this calculated into roughly the size of a tarantula on steroids.

To the interested and most careful observer, the small array of spiders lowering themselves on slender threads into position on the window sill would have seemed odd. Arachnids don't usually maneuver with quite so much precision. Nor do they sit _that still_…

Togusa picked up the cloth bag containing his journal on the way to his bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed and got ready to snuggle down and add to his collection of erotic sketches. Still feeling the sexual buzz after his release earlier, he opened the journal only to find crime scene data chips and preliminary notes for the case…

At that point his brain went into vapor-lock and shut down for the night….

On auto-pilot, Togusa threw on some clothes and raced down to the garage with a pair of cloaked Tachis in pursuit. He got into the parking garage under the Public Security Bureau and flashing his badge at the parking attendant as he raced past, called the elevator and launched himself into it as soon as the doors opened. His invisible coterie followed.

Booker blinked back into the lab.

"Mr. Togusa just returned to Section 9!"

"OOO"

"What's he doing back here? Isn't he supposed to be drawing?"

"He grabbed the wrong journal by mistake! That's what Mr. Batou found. Does he know what's in it?"

"Where's Squeak? She'd know."

"Quick, somebody get into the camera net. Maybe we can find her that way…"

"There she is! She's hiding in Chief Aramaki's office!"

"She'd better not leak on the carpet. Remember what happened last time?"

"Shhh! Something's happening."

"What? Let me see!"

Togusa practically fell out of the elevator into the hallway. Breathlessly, he stumbled into the office nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. He raced down the hallway to his office praying to any god listening that nobody (_especially_ Batou) had taken the sketchbook by mistake. Out of breath, he opened the door to the office only to find Batou walking towards him. Togusa glanced at his desk noticing that the journal was where he'd left it by mistake.

The cyborg looked up as Togusa came into the room and nearly died from shock.

A set of Tachi eyeballs popped out and rolled on the carpet leaving an oily streak ..

_Only in my wildest wet dreams…_. Batou had to remind himself to breathe again as he looked at what the detective was _almost_ wearing. Faded denims worn nearly transparent that appeared airbrushed on legs that went on forever. A tee-shirt that was practically glued to a beautifully muscled chest. His long reddish-brown hair hung in slightly damp tangled waves over his shoulders and down his back.

I am going to have some sweet dreams tonight… 

Every member of the collective had entered into a state of nearly orgasmic bliss by this moment.

_This must be what an orgasm feels like…_

_Don't be silly. We can't do that..oh who cares…wow!_

_I didn't realize that he could look that good with clothes on. _

Wooo… 

_You're drooling…on Chief Aramaki's carpet. _

Bam!

Both men flinched from the sound—Togusa from the shock, Batou from the impact with the wall.

"Yeesh! That's gonna leave a mark." Batou muttered as he absently rubbed the wall. "Hope that doesn't come out of my paycheck…" He grinned lopsidedly at the human who was rubbing his own head out of sympathy.

Squeak held perfectly motionless after grabbing her own head.

"Owwie!"

The collective cringed.

"Oh jeez, Boss, are you ok?", Togusa asked wincing at the dazed expression on Batou's face. He had no idea that he was the one responsible for it.

"Yeah, I'm all right…must be getting near time for my optic check-up though…",The cyborg shrugged, "I'll be fine. It's nothing that a few beers won't cure. Unless I have to uh…never mind." He finished while hurriedly backing away from the detective trying his level best not to turn around or be seen in profile. _Oh shit, Major is never going to let me live this one down….That's what I get for teasing her about her girlfriends…_

Concerned, the younger man tried to help oblivious to the fact that he was only making things worse.

"Are you sure you didn't give yourself a concussion? You're walking a little funny. Batou? Maybe you should…Wait! Oh well. So much for consideration on my part." Togusa grumbled after trying to get the other man to sit down and rest a few moments.

"Maybe he really is just as indestructible as he acts. Or maybe he's just taken out a few too many walls with his head.. ."

Shaking his head in exasperation, the detective reached towards his journal. Then he noticed something was a little off…

"Wait a moment." Togusa looked at the book's orientation on his desk. Being a little anal-retentive about organization, he couldn't help but notice that something didn't seem right. Then he figured out what was wrong with the layout. The journal had been in the exact center of the desk when he'd left for the evening…or so he'd thought.

" It's been moved…" He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh shit…That's why he left in such a hurry. I am so doomed."

**More brain farts from the author known as me...**

Veritas in Pitus Nectariniu.. The Major is going to have such fun playing with her two favorite boys. Batou makes her job so simple being the shameless hussy that he is. And poor sweet Togusa ...: BTW, I've put a face (or rather faces) to my maniacal plot bunnies. They are little blue Tachichomae with fuzzy ears and tails! O+o -me with a slightly deranged expression.

Starline: It's been such fun writing this (wipes big sweat drop from temple). I'm so glad that you like it!

Kelpietree: Those tanks would be dangerous if they weren't so delightfully wicked (not to mention so easy to write for..heheh).

Stormraven: I am having entirely too much fun with these psychotic little'bots. Add the Major into the mix—Togusa is simply doomed (of course he won't complain too much). As for who else may help, well you'll just have to wait and see! Insert positively evil smirk here.

Reka: What sleeves! Oopsie! My bad. Sorry. There will be some naughtiness soon I promise. I don't know who I should drive hormonally insane first...Batou or Togusa. Hmm...yes.

Crimson Skye: Oh yeah! I've already got the damn story written in my cyberbrain. It just needs to be uploaded... However, everyone _except_ Bataou knows that Togusa is not what he appears...heheh and everything goes nucking futz from there.

The-Anibee: Strategic planning—two words that should strike terror into the hearts of anyone dealing with Tachicomae and Motoko Kusangi.

Chapter 4

Sensuous Dreams in Cyberchocolate

(in which occurs smut and happy Tachichomae)


	4. Chapter 4

NAKED SEXXXY PLOT BUNNIES RUNNING AROUND!

Author's Note: Plot bunnies are eeeeevil! They love smut.

Sleep is still overrated. All ownership disclaimors apply (except for the bunnies all breeding rights, etc (according to Maraweaves)—they're _mine! BWAHAHAHAH!)_

_Internal thoughts_ _Net speech_

"Sonofa--!" Batou swore and barely managed to miss the bus as it took its portion of the road out of the center. He turned on the car's autopilot as he found he couldn't really trust his own reactions at the moment. Being aroused almost to the point of passing out, he was having some difficulty in performing such basic functions as thinking coherently.

_The Major will have all kinds of fits if she sees me in this condition…and I'm completely fucking sober. _Grinding his teeth, he groaned aloud. "Dammit Togusa! Why'd you have to come back to the office? Looked like you'd been melted and poured into those jeans. I need a distraction...think 'kittens'…Togusa naked and covered in kittens..NO! Togusa naked and purring like a kitten….DAMN! Not good! Old Ape Face in a hot pink strapless ball gown….whew!"

He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. The throbbing ache between his legs reminded him that he needed to get home as soon as possible.

A wicked smirk flickered over Kusanagi's mouth as she pondered Batou's condition. _I almost feel sorry for the poor thing. _She traced a fingertip around the frosted rim of her beer glass. _I wonder how much I can push him before he loses it for good. He can't go completely over the edge alone...for that, he'll need a little 'ah' help. _

_Tachichoma..._

_Yes Mam?_

_Report on your progress..._

_Mr. Batou left headquarters in a big hurry. We think that he may have hurt himself when he walked into the wall. He's gone into autistic mode and he's not answering any communications. We're getting a little concerned, Mam. What should we do now?_

Kusanagi rested her chin on one hand. By now, the other members of the Section had taken notice of her obvious distraction and, knowing what misbehavior usually followed that particular expression, gathered around her table and sat down. Ishikawa glanced over at her then waved to catch Saito's attention.

"What's up, Ish?" The usually sober-faced sniper grinned at the master-hacker's expression.

"Gorilla babe is up to some serious mischief..."

"Do I want to know who she's torturing this time?" His cybernetic eye flashed crimson as he peered around the room. "Oh boy, let me guess..." Noticing the empty barstools nearby he laughed. "Batou is victim number one..." He rubbed his hands together and grinned madly.

"Yup." Ishikawa nodded. "Three guesses who the other victim is and the first two don't count."

"You're joking! The newbie! He's doomed." The sniper shook his head.

"You really ought to work on that poker face, Saito..." Kusanagi said drolly.

"Is that an order Major?"

_Tachichoma…you did mention that you can't reach Batou…_ He's not answering us. It's not like him… Who is closest to his current location? Hmm… Where is Togusa? Perhaps you should let him know that Batou might be incapacitated . 

_Mam, Togusa is just now leaving headquarters. _

_Good. I'm sending you the coordinates and pass codes for Batou's safehouse. Give them to Togusa. Keep monitoring and let me know if anything interesting comes up…_

With that last comment, she clicked off her net link and cracked up.

"Now that was a loaded comment if there ever was one…" Ishikawa drawled. Kusanagi just laughed harder.

"Who knew that broadcasting this over our internal net is such fun…" she said aloud watching each of them trying to keep from falling over themselves from laughter.

Booker, Playgirl, and Squeak contemplated this latest bit of data.

"Giving Togusa Batou's address is a good way to bring them together…but what if it's not enough?"

Playgirl shrugged as Squeak waved her claws in distress. She picked up her roll of bubble wrap (a _thoughtful and most annoying gift from her pet human_) and tearing off a large piece, began to pop the little plastic blisters at a furious pace.

Booker folded her claws under her grenade turret 'chin' and thought aloud for a moment.

"I'm sure that you're familiar with courtship rituals correct? Well here's what we can do…"

"I'm not sure Mr. Togusa would like cyber-chocolate. Don't you remember what happened the last time he tried some? The look on his face made the Major fall on her behind." The collective shivered and cringed at the memory.

The collective gathered close to listen to the reader's plan.

Togusa pulled in to his driveway and turned off the ignition. Sighing, he crossed his hands over the steering wheel and leaned his head forward, long hair hiding his face. He looked over at the journal on the seat next to him.

Just as he was imagining the multitude of ways Batou would torture him (some of them actually enjoyable but he was too afraid to think along that particular line) a comm-line chirp captured his attention. Playgirl greeted him with a hyper little wave.

Mr. Togusa… 

_What's up Ms. Pacman?_

He smiled half-heartedly at his favorite game partner. She peered nervously around the net-space then responded.

_There's a problem…we can't reach Mr. Batou…_

_What!_

_We think he's been hurt. He's driving erratically. _

The avatar jumped and bounced off the boundary space set up by the net-link. She got to her feet and shook herself, trying to hide her 'face' behind her claws, she squealed in distress.

_EEEP! That bus just missed him._

Togusa's head landed on the steering wheel with a dull thud. He didn't even wince.

_Squeak said he must've fallen or something because she started walking around kind of funny and her eyeballs popped out again._

The human rubbed a shaking hand over his eyes and shuddered.

…_Oh shit! I shouldn't have let him run off like that. Crazy bastard's gone and given himself a concussion. I guess his head isn't as hard as I thought it was. _

Mentally he reviewed his training in first aid…

_I don't think he was bleeding but that could mean he may have a closed-head injury…can cyber-brain cases get damaged easily? What are the impact specs for one of those…?_

Kusanagi grinned sadistically. "Gotcha. One down. One to go."

Saito chuckled and looked askance at her. "Ish was right. You are positively psychotic and I mean that in a nice way."

She blew him a kiss and stared back into net space watching as the evening's entertainment began to unfold. "Anyone care to place bets on how long it takes them both to get naked?"

"Too much information!" Pazu yelped. Saito fell out of his chair. Boma spewed beer across the table into Ishikawa's face.

The Chief chose that exact moment to walk in. Taking in the scene before him, he turned around and walked back out again.

Wiping tears from her eyes Kusanagi called after him.

"Hey Chief, you're missing the fun!"

Dry laughter in her net-space. _A wise man knows when it's best to retreat…besides, I'm not entirely certain I wish to be present when those two find out how you've been meddling in their affairs._

_But Chief, they need this! _She _almost_ whined.

_If you say so._ A sage reply. _Just be careful. This isn't a military operation, remember._

Booker popped into Togusa's net-space alongside her sister and leaned close to whisper something to her. Both Tachichomae nodded in unison then Booker disappeared again.

Togusa shook himself loose from his momentary brainfart long enough to put the key back into the car's ignition and started it up again.

"What's his current location?" he asked breathlessly imagining his friend in dire straits. The Tachichoma sent the information across the net before he'd even finished the request.

Booker chirped at Kusanagi to report that Togusa was enroute to the safehouse.

"Okay people, here's where the naughtiness begins!" she voiced. "Anyone squicked out by this kind of smut can switch over to the usual porno sites…" grinning wickedly, she continued. "Or maybe the all-cartoon channel might be more to your liking…" A few choice words followed that announcement.

"I'm in," Saito piped up. "Who knows what kinds of kink that cute little geek is capable of …" his grin matched hers perfectly.

"Careful, Batou might not want to share…"

"That's why I'm just _watching_…for now."

Batou slammed the door behind himself. He practically fell into the leather overstuffed chair in front of the television. He contemplated tuning into one of his usual favorite porn sites but for some strange reason, the only naughty pictures that came to mind involved himself and a particular human engaged in some very risqué exercises.

_You're only a few blocks away from Mr.Batou's safehouse, Mr. Togusa._

_Thanks. Keep your…fingers crossed that everything is okay._ All thoughts of privacy invasion and naughty drawings left his mind as he concentrated on maneuvering safely into the turning lane on Batou's street.

Batou leaned back in the chair and tried to return his breathing to normal levels. _I didn't even read the damn journal. So why do I feel so fucking guilty? Maybe it's because …._

_I'm here. Get ready to call the Major if anything is wrong. _

_(Heheheheh…)we will!_

Togusa signed off , tucked the journal into the glove box then got out of the car.

"Oh damn, he looked like days of hot sweaty sex…"Batou grumbled under his breath.

Togusa stood on the porch and looked at the keypad. He typed in the code supplied by the Major and as the door clicked and slid open, he called out Batou's name.

"What the…!" the cyborg nearly fell out of his chair. "Oh shit! I am so doomed." He managed to get to his feet and stumble to the door.

Hearing a loud crash from inside, Togusa hurried into the apartment and promptly found himself landing face first into six feet seven inches of highly agitated cyborg. The shock of the impact left Batou on his butt with a startled Togusa straddling his lap—an immensely pleasurable experience until reality tapped Batou upside the head with a small titanium I-beam.

"I didn't do it!" he yelped.

Togusa did a fairly good fish out of water impression staring at the flustered cyborg in open-mouthed shock.

"Uhhh…what are you talking about?"

"That journal. I thought it was the report file for the case we finished…" Batou paused realizing that Togusa was _still_ sitting in his lap. Slowly Batou raised his torso up to a proper sitting position carefully making sure not to upset the human from his perch.

Togusa leaned closer to Batou and gently brushed the white-blond hair out of his eyes. The shock of that light caress nearly stopped his higher level logic functions.

"Are you really all right? The Tachichomae said that you weren't feeling so well." Togusa peered intently at Batou, his forensics training outweighing his innocent instincts. "Did you lose consciousness at any time after you hit the wall?" Cautiously, he shifted position when he felt slight movement beneath him.

"Uuhhh…"a lecherous grin flashed across a broad face, "I _feel_ just fine." He shifted his weight just slightly brushing his crotch against Togusa's. The startled expression on the human's beautiful face was priceless.

"You might want to put your eyes back in your head…" Batou chuckled softly. "Trust me; optics like these," he tapped one of his eyes, "wouldn't look nearly as good in your face…"

Togusa frowned a little at that comment. "Oookay," he breathed nervously running his hands through his own hair. "Now I know you've got something wrong with you. This isn't exactly the type of conversation we usually have…"

Batou chuckled at Togusa's reaction then slowly wrapped his arms around the human's waist and joined his hands together at the small of Togusa's back. Bemused, the cyborg wondered just how oblivious the human really was. _He still thinks I'm out of my mind. Well okay I am but that's beside the point. Anyway, he hasn't noticed that I'm holding him down. Maybe if I lifted my hips…nope. Did that already. Just made him blush (not that that's a bad thing necessarily). Heh…roll hips AND just barely squeeze that delectable little butt of his…. _He unlaced his fingers and moved his hands slowly down the other man's waist until they were seated comfortably just above his backside. _Damn he's got a cute ass…_

Togusa leaned back and started to look for a pen-lite to test Batou's pupil reaction when he realized a few things.

He didn't have a pen-lite.

Batou didn't have pupils.

Something was holding him quite firmly in place.

The accumulation of this new data drew him to a rather intriguing conclusion thereby formulating an action…

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

**Author's Notes:**

Just in case you, my loyal readers haven't noticed, I'm evil! I sorted into Slytherin. What else would you expect? Fear not! Further naughty chaos and mayhem will ensue.

Crimson Skye: Leaving Batou and Togusa out of the loop like that is how theMajorhas her fun. Sketchbooks filledwith naughty pictures are fun too.

Kitomi: Aramaki's gonna make _somebody_ clean that carpet by toothbrush...heh.

Veritas in Pitus Nectariniu...: I knew that there was a reason I like hottubs and candles...as for the braid, when I draw Togusa, I usually give him hair that is long enough to braid. Besides, Batou _likes_ playing with long, soft hair. He (Batou) bounced off the wall because he was 'ahem' distracted. Squeak, being in Aramaki's office-spying on the boys, was shocked as well, which would explain her eyes leaving those incriminating stains on the carpet.

Many thanks (and bags of plot-bunny food) go to my partner in crime—MaraWeaves. As soon as my _personal_ net-work is reestablished, much smuttage will commence...(can u tell i is a kollege student?)

The-Anibee: Well, even innocent little virgins like our sweet young human need some kind of fantasy life. Togusa's consists of his journal and his custom-made soundtracks (Batou's voice-captures edited and set to music). BTW, that outfit _might not_ be around much longer...

UltimatePalmTree: WOW! Personal Godhood... and here my parents said I'd never amount to anything! heheh.. Thank you for the comments.

Thanks to All for the Wonderfull Bags of PlotBunny food. As always, they are most appreciated.

**This program has been brought to you by Loki the Insane Cat. > (really bad portrait of a cat, looks like Dahli in emoticons--sigh!)**

**Until Next Time**

**Chapter 5**

**Naked Happy Tachichomae**


	5. Chapter 5

Tachichomatic Matchmaking Service

Chapter 5

Happy Naked Tachichomae

or

How the Major Got Her Comeuppance

(plotbunnies are reeeally well fed tonite!)

_Author's Notes:_

First off, many apologetic hand-wringing upon the part of the assorted and sundry plot bunnies. They are quite annoyed with my Internet service provider.

For the kind words of my most esteemed reviewers...

Afriel: Owwie! Been there done that! (only with Diet Coke as I've been writing this and do you have any idea how hard it is to get that soda-snot out of a keyboard?--eew!) As for warnings...but that would spoil my fun!

Chrys:How did you know that plot bunnies love chocolate covered carrots? You must be psychic! So glad that I could make you laugh (happy plotbunnies bouncing off inside of cyberbraincase)

The Light of the Shadows: most excellent idea...heheheheh. Togusa _may_ learn something of his own naughty streak. He _is _in Section 9 after all...

Tsuki Chokoreto Mizuno: Smut asked for and smut delivered (and drool is really hard to clean off of a keyboard) LOL.

Veritas in Pitus Nectarinium: The Chief is an evil little bastid! I knew that there was a reason I had so much respect for the Old Ape. He's definitely responsible for at least one person's cold shower and it isn't Batou. As for pre-verted...heheh...

MaraWeaves: As if burying the little boogers will kill 'em! (SIGH!) if it were only _that _simple. We do know that isn't effective as a plot bunny deterrent. Little f---s just keep showing up anyways.

Kyo-Tatsu:Batou X Togusa very happy smut bunnies. And as for outnumbered? Maybe...outclassed? Never happen!

Byrnstar: She may just discover that being sneaky might have repercussions...heheh

Crimson Skye: Actually, he'd probably look better in something in a burgundy velvet...KIDDING! I like that character but not quite _that _much. And our favorite combat cyborg is definitely making a move or two...heehee (evil happy smutbunnies)

The-Anibee:Oh they is gonna get at it...but who will get to watch? (no spoilage!)

Kelpietree: Your wish is my command! (waves wand expressively) !What! No nekkid humanoids!

AAAGH!That's what I get for buying a wand from a jokeshop...grrrr. Luckily, Togusa isn't the only one into drawing naughty pictures...

On with much naughtiness...o

_**And believe me when I say that(if you haven't guessed by now), this is a slash story which entails two attractive male humanoids having their wicked ways with each other. Explicitly. If you are squikked then go read another story more to your liking (or as the Major so succinctly put it last chappie: go watch some cartoons). **_

_net speech_

_Internal thoughts_

_Booker and Playgirl are the Tachis who adopted Togusa. Squeak is Batou's Tachi. Ms. Scarlett is Saito's Tachi._

The Tachichomae get a little sex-ed, cyborg-style and the Major gets what's _coming_ to her...or does she?

"What the fuck did that mean?" Kusanagi screeched slamming her beer mug down on the table adding yet another dent to its battle-scarred surface. She scrunched her face into a fierce scowl and fixed each member of the team present with a murderous glare. Saito chuckled at her choler wincing slightly as she focused a piercing vermilion Slytherin Death Glare on him.

"Do you plan on keeping it a secret or do you want to continue breathing?"

Saito winced, paling beneath her baleful glower. "Two words, babe-- Mae West...heh." he replied. "She was a 20th century movie star. One of my favorites actually..." He lit up a cigarette and watched the smoke eddy. "My Tachi has all of her movies recorded. Hang on a bit. I'll get the info..." He closed his normal eye and patched a comm line into his Tachi, Ms. Scarlett.

_Did you catch that? The question that Togusa posed to Batou..._

The avatar practically bounced when she answered making Saito laugh at her enthusiasm.

_Why yes we did._ The Tachichoma speaking stood up on her hindmost legs, folding the middle legs around her thorax giving the impression of a waistline. Placing one clawed hand on a 'hip' and the other alongside her head, she thrust the other hip out and swayed slightly. Her eyes swirled as she giggled taking on the voice of the glamorous 20th century movie icon

Kusanagi leaned back in her chair watching Saito tap the ash off his cigarette.

_Tachichoma..._

_Yes Mam?_

_What exactly did that comment mean?..._

_In the context of the original quotation, she was asking if the male lead was..._

"Why that little shit! Who knew that such a perverted little mind hid behind that innocent face..." She raised her glass in salute and promptly ordered another round for everyone.

Meanwhile, Squeak checked in on her pet cyborg...

_Mr. Batou? Are you okay? Hey! Why aren't you answering?..._

The cyborg was momentarily speechless as he took in the sight of the human's shyly seductive smile. _He is sitting here, he's flirting with me, __and he's not bothered by the fact that he's practically on top of a bomb ready to explode...god he's fucking beautiful... _A wide grin split his face as he took in the delectable vision.

A polite chirp on his internal net startled him. Squeak waved at her cyborg.

_**Hey Mr. Batou!Are you functional!**_

_? Huh? Oh. Yeah. I'm fine. Why do you ask?_

The collective leaned in closer awaiting his response.

_Yeah, I know I must've had you girls worried for a while but I'm okay. _

Squeak giggled as she passed on the information she'd collected earlier to her pet cyborg. _Mr. Togusa asked such a silly question didn't he? The Major didn't know what that line meant either! Mr. Saito did though. It's so funny! By the way, you really should see Ms. Scarlett's Mae West impression..._

Batou stared into space... "Major...?"

_Oh shit...shit...shit! That crazy psychotic beeyotch is listening in...crap. Talk about a buzz killer. Oh fuck! Squeak said Saito and Ms. Scarlett are listening too. Shitshitshitshit. The entire collective is in on it and that means everybody is listening in..._

Batou could practically hear circuits popping in his cyberbrain. He frowned looking off into a space over Togusa's shoulder, not realizing that the human had gone completely still.

Togusa flinched and looked away. His thin face suddenly looked drawn and pinched as though he were going to cry. Wrapping his arms around himself defensively as if to ward off further injury, he unfolded his legs in an attempt to stand. The cyborg looked shocked for a moment then he realized why the human was trying to get up. He tensed his arm around the young man's waist and gently took Togusa's face in one large hand.

"Shhh…it's all right baby." Batou soothed gently. He cupped the young man's face with his slightly trembling hand and pulled him close. "It's all right… _Somebody.._" Batou grimaced and continued, "was trying to ah...listen in on our conversation." He tilted his head slightly to one side. Togusa blinked then smiled having momentarily forgotten that like the rest of Section 9, he could at will, hear what the Tachis were talking about.

Abruptly it occurred to him just what Batou had meant. The AIs were not the only eavesdroppers in the unit.

Wiggling his eyebrows in a manner that would do Groucho Marx proud, Togusa pulled from a belt pouch a ghost-infiltration key. "I read somewhere," the natural whispered, "that using one of these can... um...accentuate the experience..."

He knew by now that the rest of the team could hear and see everything that he and Batou were doing. A shy, wickedly innocent smile crossed Togusa's face as he lifted the device and showed it to Batou. He palmed it in the hand that he used to brush Batou's hair aside. The cyborg grinned as he felt Togusa set the device into place.

Everyone seated around the table leaned in closer...

Batou brushed his own lips tenderly across Togusa's parting them. Then, he tentatively slipped his tongue into Togusa's mouth capturing the soft groan that escaped as Togusa leaned into the kiss. He wrapped his arms gently around the human's waist, pulling him closer. Still kissing Togusa, Batou folded his own legs beneath himself then lifted the human into a tight hug. Slowly, he stood dragging the natural man's body against his own drawing a breathy moan that shorted out a few of his higher logic functions. Togusa wrapped his legs around Batou's waist.

"Damn that looks hot." Kusanagi muttered.

Saito poured the glass of cold water he'd been nursing down the front of the Major's shirt. She was so engrossed in the sight of the embrace that she didn't even notice. "Heh..." Ishikawa chuckled wryly. "Someone's a tad distracted."

"No doubt...where the hell did he learn how to do that?" Saito's normal eye widened then glazed over slightly. Pazu made a determined effort to ignore what was going on but failed miserably. Boma downed yet another beer. Ishikawa continued chain-smoking. The Major just sat watching the open comm line.

Togusa mouthed soft kisses against the side of Batou's neck thoroughly enjoying the rumbling moans coming from deep within the cyborg's chest and pressed the switch turning the key on. He smiled at Batou and waved three fingers at him. As he lowered the digits, he moved closer and parted his lips as if to kiss Batou. Two fingers...closer...one ...near enough to breathe each others' air.

Back at the bar, the members of Section 9 stared at a shorted out video comm link and listening to static. Five sets of eyes bugged, five mouths hung open in shock. Kusanagi regained her senses first. The swearing could be heard from several blocks away.

"Now 'Togusa-babe, I know that I'm very interested in the conversation we were having before we were so rudely…"he glared at the static filled comm link before shutting it off, "...interrupted." Togusa smiled shyly as he leaned and planted a soft kiss on Batou's nose. "That was a neat trick. Do I really want to know where you got that information? Heh...on second thought, don't answer that." Another sweet smile greeted that comment.

"Major..."Ishikawa said, "you do realize that we've just been reverse-hacked right? Through a ghost-infiltration key of all things. Of all the sheer gall..." He shook his head then grabbed the beer mug from the Major before she smashed it on the counter. "Evidently, _someone_ forgot to read the part of the new kid's dossier that listed his hacking skills..." he finished the beer and set the mug back down on the counter top just out of reach and grimaced as he saw her digging her fingernails into the surface. "Then again, maybe the kid's good enough to keep a few secrets...looks like Batou is gonna have his hands full."

Batou gently held Togusa's head in his hands and leaned in closer. With each word he drew close enough to kiss, so he did…often. "As I was saying… kiss ooh you keep that up, I'm gonna die over here…heh kiss . Mmmph! Oh baby, that… kiss ought to be illegal." He kissed his new lover hungrily then leaned back slightly to calm himself. "Just to be on the safe side health-wise, baby, let's move to a more comfortable spot to continue this conversation.…" he grinned evilly at Togusa. "That sweet mouth of yours can be considered a lethal weapon." The human's shy grin mirrored his own before Togusa leaned in for another kiss…

"Well, that's it..." Saito groused. He pushed his chair back and got up shaking his head in disgust. "Evidently the newbie has a set of brass ones." He laughed at the Major's furious expression and hurried out the door. "Maybe you should've stuck with the usual porn..." Laughing nervously Pazu and Boma followed him out. Ishikawa just shook his head, patted Kusanagi on the shoulder and left her alone.

"What the fuck did they do? How did he shut me out dammit!AAAAAAGH!"

"Baby, you are totally wicked," Batou cackled evilly. "I bet that we're both gonna get in some serious shit later because of that..."

Togusa shrugged, the strap of his tee shirt falling off one shoulder. "I simply learned by observation. The Major herself is quite proficient in that sort of reverse hack. She may not need to have used a ghost infiltration key but sometimes you just have to improvise..." he twisted a lock of Batou's hair around his fingers and tugged. "Now what were you saying about moving to a more comfortable spot? I'm fine where I am." Togusa grinned, his body swaying like a slender reed in the wind. The rough material of his jeans abraded Batou's arousal through the formerly loose drawstring pants he wore.

"Keep doing that, babe, and I won't last much longer." Batou groaned firmly holding the human's slim body in place. Cupping his hands firmly on Togusa's backside, he effortlessly lifted the human and carried him into the living room then set him down gently on the big leather chair he'd vacated earlier. He knelt in front of Togusa's chair and gently spread his legs. Gazing hotly at the tented front of the form-fitting jeans Batou scooted closer and reached to wrap the natural man's long legs around his waist.

Batou lifted his hands to his love's face and drew him closer for another kiss. He planted gentle kisses along the line of Togusa's jaw nuzzling the silken skin and slipping his tongue into Togusa's mouth for a quick taste. Then he started to undress the younger man, planting soft kisses on each bit of flesh he uncovered dropping a few nibbling kisses along the space of skin between Togusa's slender neck and shoulder.

Batou traced the slender lines of Togusa's ribs beneath the soft undershirt with tender fingers then stroked his hands along the natural's sides. Togusa's breath caught and he trembled, looking up at Batou unable to speak past the tightness in his throat. Leaning into Batou's embrace he kissed the center of the cyborg's broad chest. The innocent tenderness of the action sent a ghost-deep shudder through Batou's frame.

Batou found himself literally aching with desire for this lovely vision before him. _It's been so very long since I've felt this way about anyone. I didn't think that I was even capable of feeling anymore..._ He leaned his forehead against Togusa's shoulder to catch his breath then embraced him firmly.

"Are you okay love?" Togusa asked softly his warm breath gusting over Batou's hair. In answer, Batou smiled at the endearment and raised a slightly trembling hand towards the young man's face and traced a fingertip along the curve of Togusa's sweetly lush mouth. He felt a smile spread along the tender flesh under his finger and moaned softly as Togusa opened his mouth just enough to allow Batou to dip his finger inside. Batou gasped as he felt the warm velvety rasp of Togusa's tongue along the captured fingertip. The younger man smiled around the digit. His eyes slid closed and he wrapped his sinuous arms around Batou's stocky waist bringing their bodies into delicious contact. At the feel of a warm sinfully obvious arousal against his stomach, Batou nearly fainted. That, along with the exquisite torture of Togusa suckling on his finger was generating sensory overload.

"I'm dying over here," Batou whimpered raising his other hand to his forehead in a mock swoon, "please, no resuscitation…." Togusa grinned wickedly around the captured finger he was torturing and wiggled his eyebrows at him. The older man's knees gave way beneath him and he landed in front of the chair with a thud. He grinned lopsidedly at Togusa. "What a way to go eh?"

Togusa shivered as Batou undid the front of his jeans and wrapping his fingers carefully around the warm flesh there, fondled the heated length with his free hand. He wrapped his hand carefully around Togusa's arousal and tugged in time with the caress of the natural man's tongue on his captured finger. At this latest contact, Togusa lost all capacity for higher logic functions as his mind shorted out and he tumbled off the edge of consciousness into oblivion…

Togusa lay completely boneless in the chair, his clothing completely disarrayed. Batou nearly purred at the force of his love's response. "Easy love," he soothed mouthing a trail of open-mouthed kisses alongside Togusa's face. He eased Togusa's jeans and shoes off grinning fiendishly at the fact that the human wasn't wearing any underwear. "Someone likes to go commando..." A wide-eyed blush was Togusa's response. "You keep changing color like that and you might break something..." He leaned in and kissed the human on the end of his nose.

Two sets of hands lifted the tee shirt over Togusa's head. He shook his hair free from the opening sending it tumbling in cinnamon waves down his torso. Batou caught a tendril and threaded his fingers through the sweet-smelling strands. Togusa lay back on the chair, his curtain of long spice hair hiding some of his body from Batou's view. Completely nude, the human blushed from head to foot. Batou was throughly entranced.

"Just relax and enjoy yourself, love," Batou grinned shyly at his mate. "And prepare to be spoiled absolutely rotten…" Togusa mirrored the smile back and shivered in anticipation. He rolled over onto his side and held out a hand to Batou.

The cyborg slipped his drawstring linen pants off. He was already aroused. Togusa stared in wide-eyed fascination at his new lover's body. Batou smiled at the human's expression and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Breathe love," he teased Togusa, "It's important." He wiggled his fingers at the human threatening to tickle him.

"You wouldn't dare! EEP!" Togusa screeched as he attempted to hide under the cushion of the chair.

"Wanna bet?" He waggled his fingers and smirked at the hapless natural. Togusa squeaked indignantly then cracked up.

The cyborg pounced landing in a crouch over the laughing natural."Damn, you're wicked!"

Togusa wrapped his arms and legs around Batou's stocky body. As his hips tilted forward their erections brushed together pulling soft groans from both men. Batou sat up pulling Togusa into his lap and gently wrapped his hands around both erections and tugged firmly.

"Ah! Batou! That feels so…," Togusa groaned as he felt the lovely slick warmth of Batou's shaft against his own and the strength of those long blunt fingers around him. Togusa stopped breathing and releasing powerfully, he passed out from the sheer bliss.

Batou shivered at the undone look on Togusa's face. This complete loss of control pushed Batou over the edge. He gasped for breath sobbing as he came harder than he'd had in years. Trembling, Batou smiled contentedly and cleaned them off. He picked up the unconscious human and carried him into the bedroom. Placing the man gently on the bed, he moved the blankets aside then crawled into the bed next to him. Then he wrapped himself around Togusa and dozed.

The collective stood looking at the sleeping pair of humanoids. They had managed to unlock the network only to find the two men resting.

_Don't they look happy? _

_Actually they just look tired. _

_I wonder what they did. _

_Who knows. _

_Maybe they played strip poker or something because they're both out of uniform. _

_We know what the Major does when she's out of uniform but what about these two? _

_Why not ask. _

_That may not be a good idea...maybe we should just watch._

Two avatars blinked into existence in the living room and walked over to the discarded clothing on the leather chair. Another avatar materialized in the hallway leading to the bedroom. Booker, Playgirl, and Squeak went into cloaked mode and began searching for any data that might give them clues to their pets' activities.

Booker waved at her sisters. _These clothes are Mr. Togusa's. I recognize the jeans._

_I found Mr. Batou's sleep pants over here..._ Squeak pointed to the clothing in question.

Togusa opened sleepy golden eyes and yawned stretching. An appreciative whistle followed by a warm chuckle startled him into full wakefulness. The memories of the past few hours caught up to him and he smiled at the cyborg leaning over him.

"Hey beautiful," Batou rumbled as he leaned in for a kiss, "sleep good?"

"Yeah..." Togusa said, a little frown line between his brows appeared. Concerned, the older man traced the little line with a gentle finger.

"You don't regret this already do you?"

"What! Oh dear god no. I was afraid that I was just dreaming again..." he looked away, a single tear found its lonely way down a freckled cheek. "It's just that I've never ...well..." he blushed furiously, mentally cursing his pale skin all the while.

If Batou's eyes could've widened any further, they would have vacated his face completely.

"Well, I'll be damned. For someone who's not very ah _experienced_, you seem to have a good grasp on things." A wicked leer brought a little smile to Togusa's face.

"Thanks, I guess..." he looked down, his long hair hiding his face. When he glanced up at Batou, there was a suspiciously evil glint in those golden eyes. "I've been told that I'm a fast learner."

Laughing, the cyborg leaned into the natural's personal space, picked him up and hugged him nearly breathless.

Silently, the three avatars crept into the bedroom after verifying that it was the humanoids' current location.

Each avatar took a position near the pair in order to continue their observation.

_Do you think that we should contact the Major yet? She did mention that we were supposed to let her know if anything happened. _

_We don't know if anything happened._

_How did they get out of uniform then?_

_AAAAAH!_ BOOM! (exploding Tachichoma)

Rolling optics and huge sighs.

_Oh really!Somebody should really consider switching to distilled natural oil..._

_I swear, she's such a show-off._

_I'll let the others know that she needs some help again..._

_Roger. I'll maintain observation._

Batou lifted the human into his lap and wrapped his arms loosely around him. Togusa lifted a hand and started to trace his fingers along the ridges of muscle on the cyborg's shoulder. Batou grinned at the gentle touch.

"I won't break babe," he whispered roughly.

In response, Togusa lifted the other hand and started kneading the heavy musculature on Batou's torso. "I didn't realize that you would be so warm." He whispered. "Everything that I've ever read on cyborgs has stated that body temp is significantly less than that of natural humans." He chuckled softly and favored Batou with a lopsided grin. "Maybe I shouldn't believe everything that I read..."

"Oh keep reading," Batou laughed, "You've got to be the only person I know who can make technical journals sound sexy as hell..."

"Maybe I should bring a few more over..."Togusa started then looked at Batou, waiting for a response._ Maybe I'm rushing things but I really want to..._

"I think I can find a little space for your geek-book collection...provided that you read me a bedtime story. Every night." He leaned closer to Togusa and kissed him very gently on the end of his nose.

_Awww...that is so cute. Squeak didn't say that Mr. Batou likes it when someone reads to him._

_I didn't know that. Who knew?_

_Did you see that? Mr. Batou kissed Mr. Togusa! _POP! (high-velocity Tachi-eyeball ejection)

_Put your optics back in place! We don't want to miss anything. OOO. Mr. Batou is touching Mr. Togusa..._

_You're drooling again. Fortunately for us, you're not in a sensitive location like Chief Aramaki's office._

Meanwhile, in Chief Aramaki's office...

The venerable commander of Section 9 sat reflecting on the evening's events. Being the only _other _natural in the unit gave him a particular familial affection towards the forensics detective. Needless to say, he was a bit concerned as to the effect of the Major's antics on the younger human.

Leaning back in his chair, he concentrated on the site map for the unit's internal network. He found the Major and the rest of the team (sans Batou and Togusa) at the bar. They appeared to be logging off of a particular site—a closer look made him chuckle wickedly. He shook his head smiling as he watched the completely frustrated female cyborg pace around the bar.

_By now, Kusanagi will decide to investigate the matter further, if she hasn't already co-opted the Tachichomae. That in and of itself would be interesting..._ He steepled his fingers together and rested his chin on them. A decidedly _evil _smirk crossed one side of his weathered face.

_Tachichomae._

_Yes Chief Aramaki. Sir. ...(_contritely)_ we're very sorry about the carpet sir._

_That's all right. It's been taken care of. I'm calling because I have a task that I want you to do in addition to the surveillance that Major Kusanagi requested. _

_The Major said to report if anything interesting came up._

_That's good. I want you to change the parameters of that request. Only respond when these questions are asked..._

Kusanagi stood still for a moment then (the evil smile returning to her face) she hurried out of the bar.

Recognizing the static for what it was, Chief Aramaki grinned and turned off his link.

"Did you want my hands here love? " Togusa shivered and moaned. "Thought so. Heh" Batou smiled at his beloved's reaction.

"Don't tease me dammit!" Togusa growled fiercely wrapping one leg around Batou's waist and pulling him closer. "Now this is more like it…" he purred into Batou's mouth as he kissed him. "This is what I've been waiting for…" Batou raised an eyebrow as that as about all he could manage with the rest of his body about ready to spontaneously combust. "I've wanted to see you wearing nothing but that beautiful hair and a smile…." Togusa tugged at a strand of hair in front of Batou's eyes.

_OOO! They're engaging in activities very similar to those that the Major participates in._

_That's not quite true. There are different parts involved. _A virtual chalkboard appeared in their portion of cyberspace. Booker put on her Professor's cap and gown and raising a pointer, began the lengthy and very detailed comparative structural analyses of male and female sexual anatomy.

_We all have access to that information. Can the lecture wait? We might miss out on data collection._

_No. This is just as important as it explains precisely what we are observing._

_But...but if we miss what's happening..._

_That's not the point! (WHACK!)_

_Owwie!_

_Now pay attention!_

Aramaki chortled gleefully at the images flashing across the collective's netspace. Then he manually reconfigured the entry codes for Batou's safe house.

"Please…"Togusa leaned back into the mattress and reached outstretched hands towards Batou. The smile offered him matches his own—a little nervous but so very loving.

"Thank you my love…" a shy touch of a trembling hand between Batou's legs. "Thank you for trusting me"

"Thank _you_ my love…"Batou whispered "for loving _me".._

Batou reached over Togusa's shoulder into a small built in cabinet in the headboard. He lifted a small crystal phial from its velvet bed and placed it gently in Togusa's hand.

The human's amber eyes widened as he realized the significance of the little container. He turned it over in his hands then opened the bottle. Carefully he dripped the fluid over Batou's hands. The cyborg gently reached down and stroked a glistening liquid covered fingertip over the tight entrance to the human's body. Togusa flinched even though he knew Batou was the one touching him, waiting for him.

"I love you Togusa. I'll be gentle. I promise." He knew that this is going to be difficult for the natural man based on sheer size differentials alone. On top of _that,_ the human was still, for all intents and purposes, a virgin. That thought alone was enough to boggle the mind. He waited for the younger man to relax again.

Suddenly Togusa felt that gentle finger press itself into him. "Ahh!" He lacked any sense left to respond with voice _or _mind.

"God it feels so good. Baby, you are so very warm and soft inside…mmm." _Can you feel what I'm feeling Togusa? You're so tight around me_ _love…_ He withdrew slowly and the natural gasped aloud feeling suddenly alone.

"Ssshhh love…I'm right here". He caught the human's outstretched hand and planted a soft kiss in its palm folding the fingers over it to keep it safe. The gesture's tenderness nearly shattered Togusa…He cried out a mournful needy sound. _Togusa ,it's all right! I'm here and I love you so very much…_

_I know Batou... I know. It's just…_

The cyborg's hands are so gentle against the natural's heated skin. With infinite care a second warm finger joined the first and Togusa's heart stopped…

Batou leaned in closer to capture Togusa's mouth again. _Breathe…_

"(Gasp) I know dammit!…oooh..." Togusa could feel him smiling against his mouth. That strange sensation of being opened again…_deeper oh please…_

_Only for you my love._ Another slow deep thrust with both tongue and fingers then Batou backed away for a moment. Still close enough for the human to touch and he does. He brushed some of that unruly hair away from Batou's eyes. He grinned at Togusa feeling that warm honeyed sensation again.

"Are you ready for me love?"

Togusa wrapped his arms around Batou and kissed him fiercely. "Oh god yesss..."

That delicious innocent grin again as he pulled Batou closer and leaned back onto the bed.

Togusa brushed a stray tendril of hair from his eyes as he watched Batou prepare himself. He'd never been so nervous in his life. Batou smiled at his nervousness. _Togusa, you're blush…_

"I know."

A small figure hidden in therm optic camouflage huddled near the front door of the safe house. Small sparks danced over the Major's form and vanished. She'd been zapped by the security panel. _The little bastard changed the locks..._

Batou leaned in and kissed Togusa softly. _Ready love? _The natural nodded, breathless. His hair fell in a silken veil over his flushed face and tenderly Batou brushed it back over Togusa's shoulder. _I want to see those beautiful eyes when I co.. _He found himself blushing fiercely for the first time in years.

_When you come inside me my love… Chuckle. Now who's blushing? _Togusa gasped laughing.

Batou reached gently between Togusa's legs and moved his hips into position. He shivered with anticipation as he guided himself to Togusa's entrance and gently urged the natural's body to accept him….

_Aah!_ The human flinched and whimpered softly. The first moments of this entry are painful. _Togusa!I'm hurting y.._

"No please don't leave..." Togusa gasped faintly. He felt Batou attempting to withdraw so Togusa wrapped his legs around the cyborg and pulled him as close as he could…. "Any closer and you'll be behind me!" He laughed remembering a line from another old film. "I love you Batou. I'm all right."

Batou started to move deep within stroking Togusa's very ghost…. Reaching between them, he clutched at the human's erection and tugged in time with the deep strokes inside his body and sweet drugging kisses he gave him. Their ghosts mingled close as their bodies. Closer...

After hours/days/a lifetime…in reality, far too soon everything seemed to fly apart into a billion stars. Spent, Batou turned over onto his back bringing the exhausted human to rest on his chest gasping for breath. Soon his ragged breaths calmed into contented sighs. He listened to the human breathe. His heart was beating so very close. They slept this way, still intertwined bodies and souls still joint as one…..

"I can't believe you did that you sonnofa...!" The human spat over his shoulder. Wearing the same revealing attire he'd been in the previous evening, he looked like he'd been dragged out of bed. He staggered into the great room of Section 9 headquarters. Following behind looking somewhat confused was Batou. Togusa all but slammed the book bag he held onto the desk with enough force to shatter anything fragile. He looked positively murderous. Batou just kept his facial expression as neutral as possible although he did look as though he was about to choke on something.

"You took advantage of me dammit!" The human turned around and stood toe to toe with the cyborg. "Here I was so concerned about you injuring yourself or having a concussion." His hair hid his face and his wiry body shook with rage. The human's hands clenched in white-knuckled fists. Several sets of eyes (humanoid and AI alike) glued themselves to the pair.

Chief Aramaki motioned for Kusanagi to join him in his office. Once inside, he let the door remain open partially. He sat down and put his reading glasses on. Folding his hands on the desktop, he leveled a measured look at her.

"By now, I'm sure you've surmised the reason that you're here..." he began. Kusanagi opened her mouth to answer but was stopped when Aramaki raised his hand. He tilted his head towards the great room where Togusa could be heard calling the validity of Batou's ancestry into question. "Of course, I'm certain that you recall my telling you _not _to meddle in their affair as though it were some high-stakes military operation..." He shook his head and hid a smile behind one hand. _Major, you are getting a little bit predicable—acting like a meddlesome older sister (with somewhat questionable moral standards). _

Aramaki looked at Kusanagi across his desk. _I know that you care about them but they are adults even if Batou has a difficult time remembering that fact._

"..."

"Well? What are you going to do about it? They appear to be quite upset with each other..." Glancing again towards the other room.

She got up and walked past the Chief's desk missing the smirk that crossed his face. _All right, gentlemen, she's heading your way... Oh, and Togusa, I had no idea that you were quite so fluent in Latin. Remind me never to engage you in a swearing competition._

_Thanks Chief. What can I say? I have such (knock it off dammit! I'm trying to have a conversation here...)ahem delightful inspiration..._

_Now babe, play nice or I'll tell the Chief that you snor...(Owwie! No pinching!)_

_You both are quite ingenious. Let me know when you plan on having the wedding..._

_Okay._

_Wedding? Oooo! Can I wear white?_(maniacal grin and gleeful mental bouncing as cyborg channels spirit of squirrel from popular 21st century comic strip)

_Batou? You are so odd...(sigh...)_

The collective stood at attention, hovering. They passed furtive glances amongst themselves then looked back at their two pet humanoids.

Booker, Squeak, and Playgirl cringed nervously, wringing their hands in confusion.

_Are they really mad?_

_Sure looks that way doesn't it?_

_Somethings odd..._

_What do you mean?_

_Listen...can you hear them arguing?_

_Yes. Everyone in HQ can..._

_That's the external voice..._

_Something's missing..._

_Wait a minute! They're both on autistic mode to the rest of Section 9. _

_Something's going on here..._

_But what could it be?_

_Hmmmm...oooh I get it now._

_Heheheheheh! Shhh! Don't give anything away!_

Dead silence. No one could hear a single thing. No heavy breathing. No growling. Nothing. Odd...

A closer look at Togusa's face beneath that long hair revealed a small, very mischievous spark.

Just as he looked as though he was going to haul off and deck the cyborg, Batou caught Togusa's hand and holding it gently, pulled the human close into his embrace.

_Ow! Careful with that! _The natural winced ever so slightly in the cyborg's grip.

_Sorry. You sure you don't need a splint for that? _He loosed his fingers just enough to allow Togusa some motion in the wrist.

_I'll be all right. Just don't bend it too hard okay? _A minute flexion of fingers masking a tender caress across a rough palm.

"Aren't you going a little overboard with the histrionics?" Batou rumbled.

Amber eyes widened slightly.

_I'm gonna get it for that aren't I? _Familiar laugh lines appeared around Batou's optics.

_You are so right... _A golden glare from beneath red gold fringe.

_Tell me you love me..._

_Batou..._

_**Batou**_

_You have until the count of three..._

_Or else what? You gonna bite me? _

_Don't tempt me..._

_Tell me you love me..._

_Awww...come on babe. _

_I'll sic the Tachis on you...(pouting)._

_Oh for the love of...Pick that lip up before someone trips on it and breaks the floor or something...(mental sigh)_

One big hand crept down from Togusa's waist and landed on a tautly muscled rear end. A barely noticeable little flex of blunt fingers and the human's eyes slid half-shut.

_Dammit Batou! You're not making this easy..._

_here...You're definitely making something hard.(nudge)_

_It's not funny!(...)_

_Then why are you biting your lip?_

_Oh I give up!_

Togusa threw his hands up and grabbing Batou's face, he kissed him with enough force to knock him backwards onto the couch. This was made easy by the fact that he'd placed one leg discretely between both of Batou's and leaned over, shifting the cyborg's center of gravity out of his control.

_Woo! _Huge maniacal grin.

_Does that answer your question?_ Wickedly sensual little smile.

_Uhhh...what were you asking again?_Slightly befuddled and confused.

_Heh...at least now I know how to get you to shut up. _Evil little chuckle complete with supercilious smirk.

"See! I _told_ you that they weren't really mad." Squeak, Booker, Playgirl, and Ms. Scarlett rolled into the room. The humanoids present stood goggle-eyed at the pair making out on the couch. "They were just pretending to be upset ."

"They did such a good job too."

"Did you know that Mr. Batou likes to have someone ..."

"Hey girls..." Batou came up for air long enough to get the Tachis' attention. "A guy's gotta have some secrets ya know."

Kusanagi stood in front of the couch and tried to glare at the lovers. "All right you two..." she began. Her scowl wavered at Togusa's wide-eyed look. _Still the innocent. Even if he kisses like my favorite porn star. Damn!_

Batou wrapped his arms around the human's slim body and leveled a glare at the Major. "Don't _even_ start yelling at him..."he grumbled.

"Well since you brought it up..." a snarky response followed by a lopsided grin "maybe I don't want to know how you learned back-hacking via external memory devices (you little shit)." She groused at Togusa. He blinked owlishly then grinned back.

"What can I say? This is an organization that specializes in information warfare right?"

"..." shaking her head in mock disgust. "You do that again and I'll..."

"Major," Togusa interrupted.

The rest of 9 did their best not to be obvious in their eavesdropping (except for Saito who'd managed to creep closer and ever so nonchalantly plop down on the couch nearby...).

"What Togusa?"

"If you'd wanted to join us so badly, all you had to do was ask."

"Hey Togusa."

"Yes Saito?"

"Can I play next time?"


End file.
